Whatever Happened to... 

I visited this page and realized it was now 12 years old! Has the internet been around for 12 years already? Damn. It has also been about 8 years since I played a gig. People come up to me on the street and ask me if I am still playing. I am generally a polite person so I don't say what I am thinking which is "Maybe if you had come to see me once or twice I would still be playing". Not that I am bitter. It seems like since I stopped playing my life has sort of taken off. I have a successful travel site and I go to Greece several times a year and take pictures and write about it and I get to sit by the sea and drink a lot of wine. At least I did not quit playing music to get a job at Kinkos or in some corporation in Research Triangle Park. I feel like I quit music to do something better. Yes music lovers: BETTER. Music is a wonderful thing and I had some good songs but there are a lot of people who do it a lot better than me and with as little success. If a hero of mine like Robert Kirkland is a cabinet designer who am I to expect to be successful? I made some good music with the help of some very talented friends but the truth is that writing about Greece and helping people realize their dreams of going there is a lot more fulfilling than passing the hat and maybe sleeping with the bartender at the Cave. (Not you Mouse). Plus I got married, sort of, and had a daughter, so the easy-sex fringe benefit of being a musician lost its lustre.

I miss playing. For those who have not realized it, playing music and especially being a singer-songwriter is a big ego trip. You can believe you have some important message to the world, or your friends in the bar, but really you are just talking to yourself with spectators. If someone in the biz thinks they can make money off you then great. You are on your way. But don't kid yourself into thinking that you are using them to get where you want to go. That's like a fish thinking he is using the fisherman to see what it is like outside the sea.

But playing music for the sake of playing, with no expectations is the only way I could approach it. I didn't care how much money was in the hat or if I even got paid. Just as long as there was someone there to sing to. I spent thousands of dollars making records, tapes and CDs and then I just gave them away. I still do it. My guitars sit in the furthest corner of my room but every so often I find an old tape and walk over to Brent at Kitchen Mastering, and commit some of these songs to the medium of the day. A re-release of a Matt Barrett Classic album! (Limited Edition)

Anyway I am getting tired of telling people I am starting to get back into it. It is starting to sound like a lie. I may play again. I may not. Does it matter? The good thing is that should I decide to start playing again it won't take long to get my chops back as they say in the music world. Only because I did not have any chops to start with. Just a handful of good songs that I still get off on when I listen to them loud in my room or with my headphones on. And for me that seems to be enough.